How to Starve off Senility (poem)

To starve off senility
I suggest you write a poem.
It will help to avoid
the early twilight zone.
Try reading books upside-down
Do the crosswords everyday.
These little exercises keep
grey matter from decay.
Update
A clever man over at Catholic Forum has written two  more verses for the poem.

An easy tune to teach your child to play on a music keyboard (Michael Row the boat ashore)

Michael Row the boat ashore
(The whole tune)
C    E    G    E   G
A    G   E
G    A    G
E     G    G   E
F    E   D
C   D   E   D   C
Michael Row the boat ashore alleluia,
Michael Row the boat ashore alleluia.

Michael Row the boat ashore

C    E    G    E   G

A    G   E

G    A    G

E     G    G   E

F    E   D

C   D   E   D   C

Michael Row the boat ashore alleluia,

Michael Row the boat ashore alleluia.

A friendly duck at the park

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Cute isn’t he?

The Aussie Farmer (poem)

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I bought a farm
Which was run down.
It was fifty miles
To the nearest town.

I ploughed the ground
And planted the seeds,
Watered the plants,
And tore out the weeds. 

With water levels low,
In the tank,
New artesian wells
Into the ground
I sank.

Some rain was needed
For the crop,
But there wasn’t even
One small drop.

I waited, waited,
For the rain,
And finally
One day it came.

It rained non-stop,
Every day,
Washing all
The crops away!

Then the bushfires started
And the barn burnt down.
I quit the farm
And headed for town.

A bakery shop in the town,
I now run,
And dough I am making
By the ton.

More of my poems

A Super Easy Meal

Roast chicken and potatoes

Place a large chicken already basted and stuffed, (when purchased from the supermarket) into a large pan with a raised steel grill insert. Surround the chicken with large (rinsed) unpeeled potatoes, (the potatoes that are already clean when purchased from the supermarket). Cover with the lid and bake on 180 degrees Celsius until cooked. Serve with frozen peas cooked in the microwave and chicken gravy made up to packet instructions.

You can also add a cup or two of water.  This will help keep the food moist. This is especially useful if you are using smaller potatoes.  My daughter says that the food is nicer when the water is added.

More household hints here

Don’t throw a job interview

My mother wanted me to go for a job interview for a job which I did not think was suitable for me, so I decided to throw the interview.  I knew all the right ways to go about a job interview so I did the opposite. I demanded more pay than they were offering and boldly asked about benefits.  I felt sure that the interviewer would not want to employ me.  Guess what? He said that’s great, we need a person who can stand up for themselves in this job! I got the job.

Two wrongs don’t make a right (except in my job application mathematics test)

I applied for a job and I was given a simple mathematics test.  Alas hardly any mathematics test is simple for me because I am what you would call in politically correct terms mathematically challenged, or in other terms a mathematical failure. I took the test and memorized what the questions were and my answers.  Later when I went home I slowly worked out the test again. I passed the test and in the question that got me through the pass mark I made two errors in working out the answer. These two errors cancelled out each other and I got the right answer!!!

An Australian beach

beachgumtreesjunk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is an Australian beach on the south coast of NSW.  I thought that you would like to see it.

Joe the Smoker (poem)

Joe the Smoker

Joe took up smoking

When he was young.

His friends told him,

That it was fun.

 

Joe thought that smoking

Made him look cool,

But in truth,

He was a fool.

 

His lungs collapsed,

And his health failed,

Things went bad,

And poor joe wailed.

 

He collapsed and died,

His family cried.

“He only lasted forty years”.

They said as they sobbed,

Though their tears.

 

Learn a lesson,

From Joe our friend.

Smoking kills you,

In the end.

Click here to read more of my poems.

 

The Mission Bell (poem)

The Mission Bell,

What does it tell?

To come to church and pray,

To worship Jesus,

At the start,

Of each new dawning day.

To thank Him,

Serve Him,

Praise Him,

Love Him,

To abandon every sin.

And also to let go of life’s,

Distracting noisy din.

Our humble messenger,

The Mission Bell,

Takes care of us,

And serves us well !    

How to make egg flip (drink)

1 cup of milk

1 egg

A small amount of Vanilla Essence

3 teaspoons of Sugar (add more or add less according to your taste preference)

Blend together until frothy.

 

Visit my housekeeping hints web page.

 

Cappuccino Time

If you’ve had a real bad day,
And lots of trouble came your way,
A cappuccino will cheer you up,
So pour yourself a nice big cup!

Mind Pollution (Poem)

Don’t pollute your mind with garbage

garbage foul and smelly,
the kind of things that every day

are beamed across the telly.

  

More of my poems can be found here.

 

Senility (poem) Don’t take this seriously!

When I was young
My mind was bright,
Alhemizers has
put out the light.

I’ve lost my keys,
I’ve lost my books,
and I forgot
to feed the chooks.

Can you tell how
the toothpaste I should use,
and what I’m supposed to do,
with this pair of shoes?

Don’t laugh at me,
Your turn will come.
being old and senile
is not much fun.